Alright, here I am with my 20 facts. Depending on whether you like it or not, JJ is the one to thank or to blame hehe! But of course you’ll like them, right?
Fact Number 0. I’m usually rather wordy so you’ll just have to bear with me if I end up writing a book down here. But I can also keep my thoughts organized so I hope you’ll enjoy the thoroughly selected and meticulously systematized collection of the finest facts about me. Now ready, set, go!
1) Let’s start with the basics. As of now my full name is Ivan Vladimirovich Makeyenko. This bears a number of serious implications. Some of you may know that my last name is of Ukrainian origin. Well, I hasten to inform you that besides that I have nothing to do with Ukraine. Another interesting thing is that my first name is about as typical of a Russian person as everything else about me is not. Which brings us to the next fact.
2) I’m bilingual and multicultural. However, I’m not your regular bilingual person whose parents speak different languages, nor did I grow up in an English-speaking country. While we’re at it, the funny thing is I’ve never even been to an English-speaking country yet. How and why all of this happened is a long story and that’s definitely beyond the scope of this presumably tiny literary effort but I can say one thing, I have been speaking English since very early in the childhood and I guess it makes me a native speaker.
3) And we segue to another related fact. Since I went to a Russian school and I look Russian (you know I affect that intimidating frown, it’s hard not to do it living here), many Russian people prefer to ignore ‘my other half’. I guess they feel more comfortable that way because most of them definitely aren’t used to dealing with people who are somehow different from them. But that certainly aggravates me, because this ‘other half’ is as legitimate as the ‘Russian half’. Anyway I guess that’s why I can relate to people from other countries better, and I feel more like myself around them.
4) I love my family very much! I’m very attached to home and my parents, and we’re definitely best friends with them. I’m also infinitely grateful for everything they have endowed me with and provided for me, for all the love and kindness.
5) One of the most important things in my life is music and everything about it. I’m an avid listener of music, and I also write songs and record them. I sing and play a few instruments – guitar, piano, bass… oh and I can ring a bell too. The main musical influences in my life are the Beatles, Whitney Houston, Shakira and Alicia Keys. They have shaped my life in so many ways, in fact I can hardly imagine what kind of person I would be had I not fallen in love with any of these long ago.
6) I’m a nerd. More specifically, I’m a math nerd. Actually that’s how many people know me these days, but it wasn’t until a few years ago when I spent one year studying at the Faculty of Mechanics and Mathematics in Moscow State University that I really became one. Math isn’t just science, it’s philosophy if not religion. So that you believe me I’m even going to provide the formula I love the most: e^(pi*i)+1=0. Isn’t it absolutely beautiful? Oh my, it sure is to me!
(As one song goes, ‘Yes I am a nerd, bookworm, I’m studious,
From my cerebral cortex to my gluteus!’)
7) I embrace my weaknesses and call them uniquenesses! Lol, no actually I’m working on myself, trying to became a better person every day.
8) I’m a rebel. Just like it is for many of us, when you tell me not to do something, I automatically want to do it. At least that’s how it used to be. Now I got wiser, I only do what I want and deem reasonable or necessary, and I couldn’t care less about what others have to say about it. I guess that makes me a rebel too, on the new level.
9) Elaborating on the previous one, you can imagine how much trouble I had dealing with teachers in school. At least they involuntarily taught me not to listen to anybody. But that also makes me an inquiring mind, I’m always looking for the truths of my own.
10) As you can see I’m trying to keep some logic in the flow of these facts, so since I got to talk about school, let me say this. I definitely love studying, and even more than that I love learning. And neither of these two have anything to do with school. The way schools work both here in Russia and in many other parts of the world is kind of screwed up I guess, and it can be harmful to kids. I’m so glad my rebellious nature helped me survive the school years without my cognitive abilities being crippled.
11) All right, so much with the logical flow, let’s get to the spicy stuff! I know most people who do this 20 facts thing post something about relationships, romance and stuff like that. I’m usually very private and don’t share much of that with anybody but I’ll tell you one thing though. For those of you who haven't gotten it yet, I’m into black and mixed (partly black) women. I hope no one will get offended by this anyhow, no form of discrimination is intended. The most accurate (although a somewhat technical) description of this fact would be that statistically on average I find black and mixed women more physically attractive. This doesn't mean, however, that I won't ever consider dating, say, a super light-skinned Irish girl, it's just that it's quite unlikely. White girls, Asian girls, Latino girls and all other girls, you're pretty too, but that’s just how I roll. Anyway we may judge the book by its cover when we first see it, but what matters eventually is the contents. So what I care most about is what’s on the inside, and it’s not easy too meet my criteria and pass muster in that department.
12) I don’t drive. I don’t have a driver’s license. And I think I don’t need one. You see it’s like learning how to steer a 19th century galley, or learning how to type on a typewriter, that is – outdated. Cars should be self-driving and we’re getting there. I hope soon after I graduate from the university, I’ll get a car like that.
13) I value my privacy a lot. It became especially evident after I moved into the dormitory. I don’t get enough ‘me time’ here when I can be alone and contemplate. So I fiercely defend what’s left of my privacy. Don’t you dare use or interfere with any of my personal effects without my express permission!
14) Some time ago I developed a profound liking of history. Our present is the direct consequence of our past, and so is our future, I don’t know why it took me so long to figure it out. But now I really want to know more about our past, and the more I learn the more I change, I see the world differently now.
15) I’m very politicized. The world as we know it today is an endless turmoil of political events that affect every single one of us. I’m aware of that and I never miss an opportunity to talk about that.
16) I guess I have reached a certain age when I’m beginning to find answers to the most important questions. Even when I don’t have an answer I think I know where to look for it. The essential parts of my personal philosophy have already formed, I think I know why I am where I am and what the ultimate goals of my life are. And I’m very happy about that.
17) I love languages. I learned French in school for ten years but by now I forgot almost everything. In fact I don’t like it much, and the school is the culprit. But I think when I learn it the right way, things will be totally different. The sexiest of all languages is Spanish. I studied it for three months and learned it pretty much as well as French. Why is that? Shakira, Shakira! Just as it is true that her hips don’t lie, it’s equally true that she makes a man wanna speak Spanish! Shaki, mi casa, su casa!
18) I hate computer games! There aren’t many things I can say I hate, but excessive gaming is a disease. By "gamers" I mean those poor creatures who consider their virtual life to be more important (or at least as important) as their real life. People like that should be treated like alcoholics or drug-addicts and be put into rehab.
19) I considered encrypting these facts somehow, like make a little game out of this 20 facts thing, but then I figured nobody will actually decipher it if I try too hard (or at least nobody would want to bother), besides I don’t have that much time to do that, so I humbly present these facts laid out to you bare and unprotected.
20) The last fact in this list is that I could have been lying all along, and any of the above might not be true, you never know. Just thought I should say this cuz it’s a fact!
[Originally posted on Facebook on September 20, 2014]
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